So during the past couple of days, I had been hanging out with my friends and as we were talking, the conversation about “who we want to be when we grow up,” came up. Now as we all chimed in and discussed becoming a “teacher” or a “CEO,” it dawned on me that I had never really answered this question for myself after identifying as an anosmic girl. I started thinking about my future, my career goals and then started thinking of all of the other anosmics out there and how they have been able to find jobs and careers despite their inability to smell in their professions (is it even a problem? Is it something they’re constantly anxious about?). After really pondering the question, I decided to write my thoughts about what the best and worse type of jobs/careers we anosmics would be a great fit for or the jobs/careers we should entirely avoid.
In my opinion, the five best jobs for anosmics would be:
- Maintenance worker/Janitor
- Dog groomer
- Shoe Salesman
I added maintenance worker at the top of my list because, “come on, it’s like the best fitting job available to us out there!” The world could burn in the apocalypse, stink like burnt hair, and who do you think would do the best job of cleaning it up???? Anosmics would!!! Truthfully, this may be the most suitable job because we would outdo all of our other colleagues. Think about the following scenario:
BOSS: “Girl Who Can’t Smell” you’re getting a promotion!! I can’t believe you were able to clean up our last customers’ mess without you flinching for a minute! “I mean there was number two, number one, number three, all over the floor and you didn’t care!” “I called John and he said he was sick and couldn’t clean this stuff up, but I have you!!” “I am so grateful to have you! Never leave my company.” “Here’s a million dollars!” “Don’t ever leave!!!!”
GIRL WHO CANT SMELL: “Oh, you’re welcome!” “It was no big deal!” “Thanks for the million”….Tee Hee!
Next on the list is fisherman. Besides being a great fit for all of the outdoorsy anosmics, living next to the ocean, cutting fish open for a living and reeking of disgusting fish guts wouldn’t bother us at all. I mean at all!!!! Although I’m not sure how this works out for fishermen in relationships, we wouldn’t even care if we smelled worse than a wet dog. Which brings me to my third position: Dog groomer. Being cuddled by dogs all day, not minding their stinky breaths, smelling of a mixture of dog shampoo and wet dog hair, doesn’t sound so bad at all. I’ve heard the worst smell ever is wet dog and because we “don’t smell, don’t care,” THIS, my friends, would be an awesome career for us.
My other top choice is shoe salesman. Yes, shoe salesman. Not a car salesman, or a timeshare salesman, but a shoe salesman. But why you may ask? Well lets do the math: 2 smelly feet + 1 anosmic shoe salesman= $$$$$ Are you that one customer who has stinky feet and frets going to the shoe store because you know you will be judged by the shoe saleman who has a really big nose and a powerful sense of smell???? Well if you go to your local anosmic shoe salesman than that would not be a problem!
Last on my list is caretaker. I was a bit reluctant to add this one to the list, but after carefully considering the pros and cons of this job, I realized we have more advantages than most. The fact that caretakers can assist people when they need help during stinky situations is amazing. Take for example: Your patient stinks worse than a 100 year old mummy and needs a shower? No problem! Your patient hasn’t used a toothbrush in a whole month and has bad breath? No problem!!! Your patient doesn’t clean their space and it smells like a zoo in there? No problem!!!
What do you guys think? Do you even care about not being able to smell at work? Share in the comments below. Also, remember to read part 2 explaining the worst jobs for anosmics…