Dating is one of the most nerve wracking and exciting things human beings must deal with. Some people love the game, while for others, it’s worse than picking up your dogs business when you take them out for a walk. What’s at the pit of the issue is that it can all seem silly or overwhelming as you’re not sure if you have the “skills” to be a winning player. Like for example, you question your appearance (am I hot enough?) or your personality (are you funny enough?).
Now as you all know the Girl Who Can’t Smell is already on the extreme end of the anxiety spectrum. And with all of these questions, just imagine tacking on even more insecurities dating as an anxious anosmic! I have to deal with the dreaded questions about my smell. Do I smell weird? Does my breath stink? Can my date tell I’m wearing last week’s sweater? Is my deodorant working after I showed off my skills on the dance floor??? I know I have P-R-O-B-L-E-M-S.
A typical date for me has gone like this: my palms are already sweaty because I’m nervous. So I have to remember to carry a small napkin in my pocket so my slippery hands don’t cause an awkward impression. The door bell rings, “ding dong.” This is my favorite part; when my date comes over to pick me up, and knocks on my door with a fresh bouquet of flowers. “Awwwwww!!!” I say while I’m obligated to fake smell the flowers then place them quickly in a vase so I get them out of the way. We then hug and I think to myself, “oh my gawd, did I brush my teeth correctly? Or can my date tell I had tuna for lunch?”
The next thing is the car ride to dinner. The ride goes smooth, but then that awkward silence happens. As a rule of thumb, you don’t want to talk about something general like the weather, so I’m sitting there with my seat belt on and then my date makes small talk. My date turns to take a peek at me and compliments me on my outfit. Of course he does! I look CCUUTTEEE!!! Anyways I like to wear perfume, but did I wear too much? This question quickly clears up as he says “You smell great!” I blush and reciprocate a compliment out of my wittiness but its about his cologne. LOL! Why? Just to kill the silence that’s why! I wouldn’t even know if he is wearing a knockoff (which would tell me if he’s shady like that) or if he even wore any at all!
Now dinner happens and then the “let me get to know you” talk happens. Something I would like to point out is that I always refrain from telling a new guy I can’t smell on the first date. That takes trust. It’s a personal thing. I won’t tell someone I can’t smell unless they are someone I care about. So after the usual questions about their hobbies and likes, I order dinner. I have to remember to order something without too much garlic, since you don’t want that gross smell lingering around (wouldn’t bother me, but what do I know?).
So after dinner, it’s the typical walk along the park type of thing. I’ve made it this far still looking all cute and stylish and then remember I decided to wear my flats. My feet start feeling wet! I look at my outfit then stare down at them. “Help!” “Where’s my napkin?” “I need something to absorb the sweat on my feet.” The anxiety quickly builds up after he tells me its getting late and we should get going. We end up walking more and my feet get even more sweaty at this point! He opens the door to the car and I take a seat. We are both now in the car. The awkward silence kicks in again. If its silent there must be something wrong…. “Are my flats giving off a sweaty foot smell?” At this point I wouldn’t dare to ask directly, but make a mental note to ask someone else after I get home…
And then finally, after being enclosed in a car with no ventilation for my feet whatsoever, the car stops to park in front of my place. We are approaching the end of the date. And you guessed it!!! It’s the dreaded good night kiss! My date will usually come in closer towards me and then right away I gain my confidence back knowing my breath doesn’t smell THAT bad if he’s trying to get all up in my business. LOL!
So yes this is the typical dating experience for me as an anosmic. I’m just a hot mess! What about you though? Do you even have a complex about not smelling? Let me know!