True Story. This happened to my guy and I the first time we flew out to San Francisco. I remember we had just landed and because I’m a “miss know it all” I took the lead on getting us on our way to the city. I had done my research. We would leave the airport, take the Bart to downtown and then hop on the Muni to get to our hotel. I felt so smart!
Flash forward: It was smooth sailing. We had already gone through the whole airport stuff and were already on the Bart. As I sat on my seat I was pre-planning our next steps. It was a balancing act checking my San Francisco Tour App recommendations, while holding on to my luggage, and making sure not to miss out on taking in the nice views along the ride.
Thirty minutes later, we arrive and get off on Powell Street. It’s such a trip! The station is underground! I look around in amazement and for any exit signs. At the same time, I start feeling a bit of discomfort in the lower region of my body. Uh Oh! Panic sets in. Ugh, not now! Yes, you guessed it, I must pee.
So I’m standing there, with my heavy luggage and I’m desperate because I hate feeling the feeling of having to pee. I just want to figure out if there’s a restroom I could use. I tell my guy I’m hurrying over to ask the nearest attendant. He holds my stuff. I see a lady wearing an official uniform.
ME: “Excuse me, ma’am where is the nearest restroom?” I ask.
ATTENDANT: “Oh honey.”
She gives me the worst news of my life…
ATTENDANT: “There aren’t any working restrooms at this station.”
ATTENDANT: “Welcome to downtown.”
She then informs me I have to exit the platform and go to the nearest business to take care of my business.
The exit is a short walk straight through. “Be careful though,” she warns me. “We have a lot of transients in this area (aka homeless people.)” “Meh,” I shrug and look to where she’s pointing. I see the signs…Yes!!!
I go back to my guy. We’re lugging our bags around, (I was carrying 2 but brought 3 total, which means my guy was already carrying my 1 bag plus his 2. I don’t pack light) and my smile fades real quick after seeing the exit. Since we’re underground, that means you have to climb up a flight of stairs to exit the station. With our 5 bags total? And a full bladder? NO. STINKING.WAY!!!!!!
But Aha!!!! I turn my eyes to the left and something catches my attention. What is it that I see???? It’s..it’s…an elevator!! OMG YESSSS!!!
I sprint towards the elevator’s direction, greedily looking back checking to see if anyone else is heading towards it’s direction, so I can out beat them. This while I’m also holding my heavy bags. I’m in! I tell my guy to hurry! He barges in and I push the button for the street level. The door quickly closes. I had felt my left foot cause a mini splash when I got in, but I didn’t really pay much attention to it. I figured someone had spilled their soda or something.
I turn around smiling, feeling victorious I got the elevator (even though no one was even vying for it in the first place). Then I see my guys face is pale white. He’s pinching his nose and he looks like he’s in angst. BLEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BLEEAAAHHHHHH!!!!! (he starts producing hurling noises) My guy is dying!!! “Omg, what is wrong????” I ask him. He bangs on the wall. “I need to get off!” (We’re enclosed in my “victory machine” still traveling up to street level though). “It smells like F#@(!*&! piss in here!!!!” He manages to say in between his “BLEAHS!!!!” He points down. “And you even stepped on it!”
GASSSPPPPP!!!!! EEEWWWWWWWWW!!!! OMG!!! I check my feet and yes, he was right! I was standing in the middle of a puddle of piss all while moving vertically in space. Someone like me, probably really needed to go but they in turn, gave up and peed in here (probably one of the transients the attendant warned me about). My face. My face was probably redder than a tomato at this point. “What, what do you mean it smells like piss in here?” I ask him. The embarrassment is painful, in addition to the pain I already feel in my bladder.
The door finally opens and were at street level now in beautiful Downtown San Francisco, CA. My guy quickly gasps for air. I run to the nearest coffee shop to wash my shoes off and find relief.
I come back to my guy and I’m super silent. Not knowing what to say, he hugs me and tells me that was the most disgusting thing he’s ever experienced, but it’s also one of the funniest. “Omg, Girl Who Can’t Smell.” “Only with you, only with you.” Ugh, whatever. . . I tell him we have our other bus to catch. But this time, he needs to lead the way. LOL!